The number of stories in the naked bush has risen to a billion. Almost all of them bad. We have here a few guaranteed not to depress.
George Jones is coming!!! Too bad George Jones doesn’t take whiskey with his cocaine any more. I would be the first in line to get George Jones tickets. George Jones was known as “No Show Jones!!!” in his wilder days when he would often show up at his shows blitzed out of his head. Most of the time George Jones wouldn’t even show up at all. Hence the alias. George Jones will be playing at the Smith Falls Arena outside of Ottawa on August 27. The show starts at 8 p.m. sharp. That is if George Jones hasn’t fallen off the wagon. Call (613) 225-7116 for tickets and information. The number again, (613) 225-7116. Get a ticket for me and I’ll drive you to the show from Montreal. Please.
Other rock shows on the outskirts of Eeeyou Astchee are Kiss, Pearl Jam in Tarrannah (T.O. for those not in the know), Def Leppard in Montreal. No word yet on the Sex Pistols. Ernesto read a review of one of the Pistol shows which said they are not yet “tight.” I wondered out loud, “Were they ever tight?” Also: Steve Earle will play Le Medley on Friday, August 23rd. I bet Steve likes George Jones.
A 73-year-old Milwaukee woman’s suit against the St. Florian catholic church was thrown out by an obviously jealous judge. Mary Verdev clai med that she fou nd herself horny for women and experienced spontaneous orgasms in “clusters” after a 150-kilogram board fell on her at a bingo game. Oooh, yes!, aaah… mmmm… Oh yeah… one more number baby… Bingo!!!! So what exactly is her problem??!?
Two Montreal police constables broke several traffic laws when they sped down a one-way street after going through a red light and double-parked in front of a French fry stand. I know the police are trying to change their image in Montreal and I guess that memo we’ve heard rumours about really worked. The memo apparently requested that Dunkin Donuts be less frequented. So when you’re in Montreal you don’t have to slow down near Dunkin’s anymore but be careful near those greasy food places.
Those vicious rumours of Matthew Coon Come running for National Chief have spawned others. All the way to the corridors of power in Ottawa. A judge reportedly joked, whilst enjoying his morning session with Minister Ron Irwin, that Mr. Wednesday will rise to the position of judge, Matthew as National Chief and Billy Diamond as Grand Chief. Ha!
Erland Campbell tells us a story of Ovide Mercredi when he was but a wee school lad. Erland’s mom was the teacher little Ovide would terrorize in a Northern Manitoba school house. One day she got fed up with his antics and took the future National Chief to his mommy. She told Mercredi’s mom, “If he doesn’t smarten up he’ll never get anywhere!” (or words to that effect). One can only imagine what he would have gone on to become if it hadn’t been for Mother Campbell.
Attention Cree golfers: the Native Friendship Centre of Montreal is having a fundraising golf tournament at the Lafleur Golf Club in Kahnawake on Saturday, August 17. Phone Watio Montour or Daniel Milner at (514) 499-1854. Funds raised will go toward the centre’s 20th anniversary celebration.
Send Rez Note worthy material (we’re starting to run out of it.) to The Nation’s e-mail address: beesum@odysee.net.
Update on Campaign ’96 next issue.
