One thing I’ve noticed about our culture is that we don’t have any Donald Trumps out there. Where’s the rich tycoon with the ability to make a few million overnight? Where’s the guy who can make a deal with the devil and walk away intact and with even more money in his account?
It seems that we are made up of people who can only spend, spend and spend more until the coffers are barren of any residual interest. I think that we need someone who is like the Don, someone who can make enough money to employ everyone and still earn enough respect to shake hands with friends and enemies alike.

The missing ingredients are money to invest, money to blow and money to lose. Other great ingredients which should be part of the cake is some kind of rising agent, like yeast or baking powder, so that at least the accounts can grow with the applied heat of interest and honest returns.

Why are we such a consumerist people, where we can only pay out and not get paid back? I’ll tell you why: we believe in the commercials that program us to buy whatever product it tells us to, that’s why.

We also tend to believe that we are a cash-rich nation, but that’s only a myth that’s retold over and over again by bureaucrats who have lost their budget to a people who say that they can handle the business end of things.

What’s business and getting rich all about? It’s about saving and investing in our future. The future, when planned wisely, should look rosy enough to profit from. I have some suggestions for making money hand over fist.

First, we could save the farmers of the south by offering our killing instincts for wild game and ferret out all the Canada geese that plague the southern fields for a buck. Then we could sell the meat to those who can’t pluck worth a darn and to those who don’t like the colour of blood and guts. We could make this work if only enough farmers were aware that there are people out there who actually like to eat the meat of the feathered pests.

Another way we could cash in is to market our gullibility for scams and use our people as live bait for telemarketers by answering the phone in Cree and insisting that they respond likewise. Meanwhile, we’d be holding the phone long enough to trace the call back to the unknowing scam artist in order to help bust those buggers once and for all and collect any rewards for invading our privacy.

Call me someone and try to sell me anything. But don’t expect me to hand over any credit card numbers ’cause I ain’t worth anything anyways.

The great Donald, however, seemed to have something that I wish I had (aside from the bushy head of hair): the ability to rebound from great deficit.

No matter the circumstance that had left him seemingly unable to come back, he still did it with aplomb and flair. If there is a Don out there, give me some advice on how to generate revenues that don’t seem to end up in someone else’s pocket.