Well, here‘s a version of rez notes from Val d’Or, the transient paradise of the Mid-North. This time its about real stories and real people who lived thorough and survived another softball tourney in the heart of Partyland.
Once Upon a VLT…
There‘s this guy, you see, who happened to have a winning streak of sevens and hidden treasures while playing those infernal VLTs. He started with little money and ended up winning in a big way, then made his way back home, a mere 1000 km away. Upon arriving at his home town, he realized his streak wasn’t over and headed back in the wee early hours of the morning. Eight hours later, he was back to his favorite passion and betting big. Many hundreds of dollars later of good luck, he disappeared for the night. We found him in a very relaxed state the next afternoon and somehow, revived his passion for the big win. We cajoled and coaxed him back to his room, and on the verge of giving in for the day, he took off again. We called out to him ‘Hey Man! Where you goin‘?’
He answers with his last breath … Machines. ..
Shades of Bart Simpson
I heard a good one during the final games of the first softball tourney of this millenium. The announcer ( an unidentified woman), calling out the score and batter ups on a public P.A. system often had to announce personal messages such as, would the person with the suburban please park off the sidewalk,., or… please do not leave your melting ice cream cones on the seats…. Somehow announced out to the shocked fans and players.. Would Mike Hunt please come to the front, come to the front please….
Goodyear sales go up
This tourney, a record number of beer bottles were broken outside the number one drinking establishment, causing numerous small punctures for those unfortunate enough to drive by.
Births go up…
One thing for sure, the number of child births are increasing, at least in Val d’Or.
I stayed at the fine resting place for CBHSSJB patients and witnessed the steady flow of pregnant women who some how disappeared then showing up again with their bundle of joys. Five was the last count with at least four more to pop up in the coming week or so. It was a good year in more ways than one for many happy couples and congratulations to all. Maybe one day, all children will be born here; I say we make a birthing center somewhere in tax free land.
Tiger wannabees
The sport of golf is more popular than ever thanks to Tiger Woods and his record breaking swings and double digit under pars. I went to the driving range only to find out that 200 yards is pretty far (for me anyway). I wanna be like Tiger Woods one day, play all day and make millions in moolah. This time, I’ll remember to wear gloves, since my skin was tearing right off my hand. Great Whalers play when the clouds are high enough to see the next flag and maybe the next tiger will come from the north. Speaking of Tigers, Giant tiger hit off with a big bang on 3rd Ave in Val d’Or, causing near panic shopping rushes for those low in the bank account.
Fights go down
All in good sport, not too many people sporting shiners this year…
