As you read this I am, God bless me, under investigation and, of course, in hiding on an almost deserted island somewhere in the northwestern hemisphere. I don’t mind telling you, it’s hot and I committed no crime. And no… I am not in trouble with the usual authorities.
Ever get one of those letters that start, oh so ominously and in bold type, “Without Prejudice”?
Without Prejudice is legalese for: We can accuse you of this but you can’t sue us for libel or slander if we’re wrong. Sof**kyou. Basically.
You don’t know what to do in those situations. Do you just ignore it? I mean… first it’s the phone company and now this.
Actually the letter was addressed to my appointed agent, yes I have one of those, in this sad affair. It says:
In the October 24, 7 997 issue of The Nation an article appeared entitled “Waskaganish Takes Aim At CRA” This article referred several times to a letter to substantiate claims made in the article. In a recent discussion I had with one of your employees, namely Mr. Neil Diamond, I have learned that the Nation does indeed have a copy of this letter, and possibly the resolution purportedly attached to the letter, which to my knowledge was received through improper channels.
Further to this, I have been mandated by the chief of the Waskaganish Band to conduct an officialinvestigation into this matter. Therefore I am requesting all documentation wherewith the said articlewas written to be sent via facsimile immediately to my attention here at the Waskaganish First NationOffice. I must also insist that the name of the individual(s) from whom
these document(s) were obtained be made known. I must stress that this is an important matter that needs to be dealt with by the Waskaganish First Nation immediately. Your cooperation to this investigation is imperative and crucial.
I trust this is to your understanding.
Sincerely, Waskaganish First Nation Corporate Secretary
My very slick agent immediately fired off a letter, without prejudice of course, advising them to read the article again and get their facts straight. We don’t have a copy of the letter or the resolution. Why on earth would I waste rriy time and money calling longdistance asking for something I already have?
My agent wrapped up the letter requesting, again, a copy of that mysterious resolution and c.c. ‘d it to the chief and the Creep-Naskrapi Commission.
As you may have guessed, I no longer want a copy of the resolution. It’s too much trouble. Just forget it. Leave me alone. I’m glad I never saw the cursed documents in the first place. I’m sure it’s well written and everything but there’s some things some people are better off not knowing about.
On a final note, as I sit slowly sipping a mango margarita under the shade of a palm tree safe and thousands of kilometres away, I issue this challenge. I dare you- all Waskaganish Band members- to be braver than me, and see thisthing through. I dare you all to walk to the band office and ask for yourself, a copy of resolution 53.And if they don’t give you that, ask for resolutions 52 and 54 just to be sure. The law is on yourside and two copies should cost you no more than fifty cents. But please…
don’t send it to me.
