CHIEF
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God
DEPUTY CHIEF
Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if sea is calm Talks to God
BAND COUNCIL MEMBER
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is approved
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Barely clears a quonset hut Loses tug of war with locomotive Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Can float Talks to animals
TREASURER
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls
TALLYMAN
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the track
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
He is GOD!
ELDERS
All of the above!
