Mothers, we often take them for granted even though they are the ones who went through pain to bear us. Not only during birth but also during the time they carried a loved one. It makes a link that was never truly severed with the umbilical cord. Some always remember and some of us are a little challenged when it comes to showing mom we care.

For example, Neil has a difficult task. His mother is in the bush most of the time. If he calls, his phone message has to be copied down and relayed through another phone and two bush radios before he can wish mom well. It makes for a one-way conversation and a short one at that. Neil says he might say something in The Nation classifieds since she has a subscription. That’s the best a son can do in those circumstances.

Alex, on the other hand, has an easier time. His mother is down south and Alex is a great guy when it comes to Mother’s Day. He sends a card, phones his mom and always puts a classified in The Nation. If he’s around he’ll give flowers, then take her out to dinner and a movie. You can’t go wrong with that. That’s a son’s appreciation for his mother. But it’s always hard to decide exactly what to do for Mother’s Day to make her feel special. I have a friend who says her mother has everything, so beyond the flowers and such she doesn’t know what to do. She’s not alone.

And ladies, I know a lot of husbands and kids aren’t quite sure what to get. One mother came up with a great solution; she cuts out catalogue pages and circles the items she likes. This way she gets something she wants and it’s still a surprise. It sure beats getting a new vacuum cleaner. No woman appreciates getting something that reminds her of her chores around the house, no matter how much “we need it.” Remember it’s Mother’s Day for her sake.

Some moms feel guilty about chocolates but would never refuse a chocolate bar from a toddler on Mother’s Day. Most mothers I know would love to go for a walk and come back home after a few hours to find the house spotlessly clean, furniture polished and supper cooking. Another idea is to give mom a night alone, not on Mother’s Day of course, but arrange a night that’s all hers for later in the week, month or year. Her choice, naturally.

If you’re looking at perfume, buy her what she always wears or something she has let you know she wants. Giving women the wrong scent is nasty. It’s the same thing with sexy lingerie. It’s Mother’s Day, not husband’s day! Just take your time and be considerate, and you’ll have no problems.

In a bit of Mother’s Day trivia, you be interested to know that after U.S. President Woodrow Wilson declared Mother’s Day a national holiday in 1914, Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother’s Day, may have thought her work was over. Unfortunately, the holiday took on a commercial tone, and in 1923, Jarvis filed a lawsuit to stop a Mother’s Day festival. Later, she was arrested for disturbing the peace at a Mother’s Day convention. She was furious to find the white carnations she had designated as the official Mother’s Day flower being sold. “I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit,” Jarvis protested. She eventually admitted to being sorry she had ever started the holiday, and Jarvis spent all of her inheritance trying to return the holiday to its loving intentions.

And that’s the real meaning of Mother’s Day. It’s not buying something for Mom; it’s showing you care. I personally think it’s all right to purchase something but only with the loving intentions Jarvis had in mind.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers everywhere.