I never realized what dirty, no-good, slow moving S.O.B.’s the Aboriginal leadership was until I picked up the Gazette on Monday January 29th. I learnt through the good writings of journalist Joan Brydan that the Federal Government of Canada was “exasperated by the snail’s pace of treaty negotiations” and that they are looking at a “new, more practical approach to the plight of Canada’s aboriginal people aimed at producing more immediate results.”

My lord, what heroes! And to think all along that First Nations leadership in Canada sold us the big lie that the government was responsible for such facts of Native life like the poor and insufficient housing, suicides, alcoholism, diminishing land bases, poverty and residential school problems.

Why I bet it was the chiefs, themselves, who set up and maintained the residential school problem.

I know this article said that the “negotiations have dragged on for years” and this certainly implied that the chiefs dragged their feet while the valiant government workers and negotiators were chomping at the bit looking to leap forward like the well-bred and trained racehorses they are.

Surely the Fed’s and Quebec had nothing to do with not fully implementing the JBNQA, must have been the Cree negotiating team.

While the Feds will be continuing to address the long-term efforts to negotiate treaties and self-government agreements they will also be looking at “short-term measures” that are “needed to begin redressing problems and producing concrete results immediately.”

One of the things the government is promising is programs to “promote economic development in native communities.”

Praise the Lord! Whatever the chiefs have been doing for the past few decades hasn’t been working as well as the rest of Canada and no one can tell me that it was the result of the Federal Governments’ Buffalo Jump Program to make reserves so miserable that Injuns would flock to the city to undergo assimilation.

Those situations and others allegedly orchestrated or funded by the Fed’s weren’t ultimately responsible for the gas sniffing either but our saintly Prime Minister is going to give Aboriginal children across this great and democratic land of Canada a promise of “enhanced or new early childhood development programs.”

Yes, Chretien and his cabinet crew of earth-bound angels will be ensuring that Aboriginal people along with the disabled, immigrants and the illiterate are not left behind choking of the dust of Canadians racing towards the good life.

What a man, what a government, what a country!!!! C’est mon pays!!

Surely the actions of the Canadian Crew at the United Nations, demanding that brackets should be put around the final “s” in “Aboriginal Peoples” so we wouldn’t have the right of peoples under international law, are just the misguided actions of a few bad apples. Surely the past inactions on the recommendations of the Royal Commission on Aboriginal Peoples were only because the Federal-Government was saving all those solutions for the new millennium. A new 1,000 years and new hopes with a plan to right the wrongs and make things better. No fourth Reich jokes from you naysayers in the back please. The cultural genocidal practices of assimilation, sterilization, forced adoption and such are a thing of the past perpetuated by misunderstood, ethnocentric and uninformed Indian Agents and mostly nongovernment workers.

This is a new day in which the government shall step forward on the sacred path of truth and trust. With infinite patience they shall assist and guide their First Nations brethren down the steps into being a part of what the United Nations calls the number one place in the world to live. Yes, we shall no longer have to be number 63 in terms of living conditions in the world! Rejoice-one and all!!! It’s a proud day for Canada and all Canadians!

Wait! Just found out that these promises don’t have any money attached to them. Crap! Just disregard the fawning sympocratic writing of an optimistic fool. It’s business as usual with the Fed’s promising and the Aboriginal People listening and waiting for a delivery that’s only going to happen in Never-Never Land.